she's ... sensitive

It is amazing to me how we can phrase certain things. Simply by changing the emphasis on a word, the tone of voice, the exaggerated pause. All of these things make our language so complex. And also interesting (read funny). When I was little, or when I hear people talk about me as a little girl, a lot of the time I hear people use the word 'sensitive'. Yikes. One of those things I would probably change about myself. Or maybe not? My amazing Fraternal Grandmother passed away a few years ago and I miss her so often. She was THE (see how I put the emphasis on that? heehee) kindest, softest, warmest, most loving woman I have ever met. Almost to the point that it would either make you love her, or make you feel uncomfortable if you are not the touchy feely type. well I am, and I loved that about her! Over her last years of life, Grandma Hoppe would always tell me the same thing every.single.time we talked. Seriously. She'd say, "Oh precious Sara! Your dad would always say - 'she has such a tender heart!!'" She would go on and tell stories about that, but bottom line is that I would cry every time. I loved hearing something my dad said about me. I love hearing something my Grandma thinks about me now. Tender might also be another word for sensitive. Tender. I like that word. Maliable. Moldable. Aware of others. Soft. I love that rather than using a word with a negative connotation, my dad chose to use a postive one to describe me at that season of my life. It means the world to me now! I know I am on a journey to becoming less (negatively) sensitive, and more (positively) tender toward others and towards myself. Thank you dad for helping me see something beautiful. And thank you Grandma Hoppe for telling me that over and over. So grateful for a husband who loves this about his wife and helps me see this as an asset. I felt sensitive today as I was in a yoga class that focused on myo-facial release. Um. Wow! If you want to get to know your body, the only one you are ever going to have, do this type of body work. I was amazed. I learned so much about myself. I felt new things. I learned where I have areas of holding, tightness, tenderness, sensitivity. And I LOVED every second of it. No judgement. Just observing. I coax this into all my yoga teaching as well. Becoming an observer of yourself - mind, body, heart, spirit. Naming things can either bring life or death to your heart. Emphasis on one thing or another can do the same. I want to learn how, and what, and when to put emphasis on things, and when to release things or let them go. I learned that in class today physically. Excited to explore that emotionally as well.

Comfort and Joy

Living in Breckenridge is somewhat like being on a permanent vacation. Seriously. I LOVE LIVING HERE. I love the beauty. I frequently cry as I look upon it. I love that nature is so accessible. Hiking with Nyah is one of my favorite pasttimes. Sitting and reading on my front porch in my amazing (and huge) white rocking chairs (a housewarming gift) is perfection for this introvert. I love the quiet. It's so opposite of a city. It's a slower pace. Less manic. You can hear your soul exhale when you come up here. One of the things I've really noticed inwardly since we moved up here is that I feel so safe. So sheltered. This new home is providing a safe haven that is a new experience for me. It is such a gift from a loving Father. Comfort. Not in the outward sense ... but inwardly. I feel like God has his hand upon us and is holding me as a Father holds his little girl. I feel it when I hear the trees whistle in the wind. I feel it when the snow falls so gently upon our little town. Or in the amazing sunshine that courses down from Heaven. Jonathan and I decided to invest into a new hobby now that we live here ... skiing (me) and snowboarding (him). Our first time out was truly one of the most joyful days I have felt in a long time. Playing with Jonathan. Feeling myself fly down that mountain - run after run - was pure bliss. I haven't felt anything physical like that in years. Encouraging one another as we got a feel for the sport again - it was magical! Joy. Pure Joy from the Father. I got a glimpse of what that verse means, "The Joy of the Lord is your strength." It brough strength. The joy is a gift. It's not something to hoard or worship. It's not something to strive for. It's a gift. And I felt like I was able to receive it that day. I woke up on the morning of our first day skiing and I was so excited. Excited and a bit nervous! I was asking God if he had a word or a verse that he wanted me to meditate on as I skied. He showed me a verse in Corinthians that says, "The LOVE of God controls us". It was so awesome to sit with this as I tried to control my physical body in a brand new way. Every time I felt out of control, or like I was about to bite it, I would say that verse to myself. "Love controls me." "God's love." "God is here." Now that he has made me a new heart, a new life, a new woman ... his life is inside me. His love controls this woman. That is the truest thing about me. I say YES to this truth. So I have been sitting with that statement. Even on my second time skiing, all I could think about was that same verse. So I'm going with it. "The Love of God controls us

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