I find it funny how so many of us say things like, "change is so hard!" "I hate change!" or "I'm not good with change." I would probably be one of those people, so I'm speaking to myself here. So we avoid change and/or complain a lot when it comes our way.
With the Harvest season in full swing I have been contemplating this topic for several weeks, and I'm beginning to see a flip side to this avoidance and dread toward change. We actually crave
certain types of change. We would love to see changes in a job we hate, in a relationship that's gone south, in fertility, or numbers like our incomes or waistlines. Those types of changes are happily and joyfully absorbed into our world. So maybe the problem isn't really that we don't like change, but we like to control what the change is. I know so many people waiting for ... something. Waiting for a ring. Waiting to see a plus sign on a little plastic wand. Waiting to become advanced in a sport. Waiting to graduate. Waiting for Mr. or Miss Right to finally come into the story. Oh how hard waiting can be. So I'm sort of seeing how the two are connected. Waiting/Change. Can you see them connected in your own story?
Recently I had a thought. I read fiction novels a LOT. Let's just say that the first thing I did when I moved to a new city a year ago was open a library account. I'm so taken in by stories, as we all are. I had a little a-ha moment the other day when I was processing my own story and thought - what if I wasn't me, but a character (ok, let's just say amazing leading roll) some author had dreamed up. And what if a woman had finally gotten to this chapter in the book about me. The one I'm in right now. She'd keep reading and flipping through the pages, excited about what was going to happen and when. Oh how lovely. She gets to flip through a lot faster than I do. But it's true right? There's a story happening and somehow all these things are going to come together for the main character (ie: me). I just have to get to that chapter. It was a peaceful thought for me. It helped me. I don't want to rush through this story, but yet I crave to know when and how certain things will come together. All of the problems and questions of life just seems simpler in a book because I get to read though the whole story in a few days time and have a settled, closed book at the end. Life isn't so clean and tidy. At least emotionally.
This fall came really (REALLY) fast for me. I live at 10,000 feet, so we don't have the longest summer. But this summer was cut even shorter with higher than average rain fall. The flowers were stunning. The dozens of shades of green around me were literally overwhelming for my heart to take in. I loved summer in Summit County. But it went too fast for my liking and temperatures plummeted really quickly. I've never had a hard time saying goodbye to summer simply because the places I've lived were too hot for my liking anyhow. So I've typically had a "bring it on fall!" mantra. But this year was different. I didn't feel ready to pull out the UGG (imitation) boots. So this was a change I did not want to embrace. The great thing is that I have no choice in this one. So it helped provide an opportunity to examine how I can accept changes that I have no control over. This is a really, really simple example, but how deeply it translated to me. I'm given many other such opportunities daily. How will I react to change? Or let's simplify it even more - to anything that is out of my zone of comfort. I've been thinking about this all summer really. Pushing myself out of that zone often. And each time it has been so rewarding, friends. Each and every single time. Being brave really has it's benefits. It makes me feel strong. Able. Beautiful. Capable. Happy.
Several of my yoga teachers have been talking about change in classes. My yoga mat has provided beautiful space to process this musings. Holding an uncomfortable pose allows me to either give up and collapse. Or ... BREATHE. Breathe into it. Allow for change in my body, mind and soul. This is how I'm bringing my practice off my mat lately.
Now, Fall isn't all bad at 10,000 feet. Quite the opposite. Even with frosts at night, the leaves are stunning. Stunning!! And the warmth of the sun's rays on my skin feel so utterly delightful that I'm speechless. Change is always a part of our lives. It is the one thing we can count on. And that is a good thing for us. I'm learning to see that. Because only as things change can I actually reach my goals. Only as things change can the things I've waited and hoped for come into my life. There are big things I am hoping for today. I know you are too. So let's see change as a positive thing that brings those beautiful 'hopes' closer and closer to reality.
